I don’t quite understand this use of “re” words to talk about losing your job. I can kinda understand “being made redundant” – The company is reshuffling and your job title is now inadequate, so please fuck off. And “retrenching” is kind of putting you back into the trenches where you’re fighting for a job.
They should really just call it “un-incoming”.
Yes, I’ve been un-incomed. I decided to make it effective immediately, because why not? I could have stayed for another week and a bit, but that just sounded like a bad idea. I thought it would be much better to go straight out and start looking for a job.
That had been my plan today. I spoke to work this morning and told them I’d rather it was effective immediately, and then planned to go straight out and start looking for jobs. But I didn’t. I realised that I just wasn’t quite in the right place.
You see, I’m uncertain of what I want to do. I’ve managed to actually have some money saved up, enough that, if I’m careful, I can manage until the end of the year without working. God that’s a scary thought. What would I do for 6 weeks? Write? Hit on girls? Test drive cars?
Well. That’s an idea. Ok I’m getting ahead of myself. I need to go clubbing I think. But back to what I was writing about…
I think the reason I’ve stayed at this job so long is I don’t really know what I want to do. I have so many options available to me, so many paths I could follow, where the fuck should I go? I enjoyed it (mostly) but now is a good time to be getting out and trying something different.
I can still keep working on the project with the other company – the one I mentioned here. That will be awesome. I doubt there’ll be any money for a while, but the skills, experience and reference will be amazing. It’ll also give me a good idea if that’s what I’d like to keep doing.
My mother also reminded me – not very subtly – that I’d mentioned that if I lose my job, I’ll probably go back to uni. Thanks mom. I still don’t understand this insistence. A large part of me wants to say “no” just so I can see if it really fucks up my life as much as people think it will. I think I’d be so busy looking for where my degree could have helped me that I’ll never actually notice it. I think the reverse will be true if I do get my degree.
But what do I really want to do? I’ve said before I don’t like the idea of living to work. I don’t really like “working to live” either, as I’d rather not be dependent upon work. That’s quite a difficult state to achieve though. I want to live a life that I enjoy, that I don’t regret, that I love. That’s what I want.
And for that, the type of job is barely relevant. It’s a maximum of 40 hours of my week. I don’t define my life by sleeping, and I spend more time doing that.
So I spent a bit of time thinking, and I figured that, as I need some form of job, I either needed one I could really enjoy, one that was not stressful in any way, or one that was already a part of my life.
So for the first, I think I think I would really enjoy a job coding. Whatever I do, I’ll end up doing math alongside – whether it’s needed or not – so I would enjoy spending all my day’s problem solving. So I’ll look for those jobs.
For the second, what could be less stressful than retail? All you have to do is sell shit, deal with customers, and tidy shelves. It’s boring and it get’s you in contact with people and it pays and you go home and it doesn’t matter any more.
For the last, I could write. I was thinking of approaching a magazine with a couple of ideas. The ideas would be along the lines of using myself as a story. You know, like this blog. But setting myself challenges (How many different girls can I approach in a day? How many different ways are there to approach a girl? Yes, focusing on girls, cause people like reading that shit) that I’d have to do for the job.
That might work. However. Each time I post something, WordPress delivers me a little congratulatory message and a quote. One of my favourite was ““Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you don’t make any money.”
Hmmm. I think I’ll be keeping writing on the side for now.